Today is SUDEP Awareness day. SUDEP is Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy. 1 in 1000 die from this yearly. Due to the kind of seizures I have; I am more at risk. While I am very close to double digits of seizure freedom and do a lot of things to protect myself, there is no way I can be 100% safe. The hospital for which I work for, and am seen at has a research study for SUDEP, which is awesome. More work needs done in this field. November is a week away; November is National Epilepsy Awareness Month. It’s no secret I’m proud to be epileptic.

I try not to worry about SUDEP because there’s really no signs, triggers, or warnings for it; but research is happening; a step in the right direction.




Chunky Chick Confessions

About 4 years ago my brother Luke, lost 100 pounds and kept it off. And over the course of 8 years I’ve gained about 75 pounds; reaching my highest of 265.

I can only chalk it up to stress; but somehow I’ve managed without any planning, change of diet, or anything, to get down to 242; give or take a few pounds since May.

My brother and I talked way back when he lost the weight and basically he said that I just have to decide to do it, and while I want to; it just hasn’t clicked yet. Having that 20 pound loss somehow since May; I think I’m getting closer to wanting it. Like making choices to actually go forward with it.

December 2007 – Fresh tattoo.  I was probably 180; not even sucking it in; but obvious  stretchmarks from weight gain in college.
Fall 2008 – I realize this photo is very inappropriate. I was maybe 185. No flappy arms. I know that shirt was a large.
May 2009  – I think I was about 220; I had been at my desk job for a year, new birth control and seizure meds for almost 2 years. I thought I was “fat” then.

And then… it all has gone downhill.

September 2014 This shirt is so tight I’m busting the buttons – and I have a gut sucker on.
Proof that using a better angle, makes you look thinner – October 2014
This photo is a week before the Where’s Waldo picture…  that’s a mens 2XL shirt – and yes I sat in on the Bobby Bones Show (2 years tomorrow) Bobby and Amy were gone as Amy’s moms passed away a few days later.


It’s now October 2016  I’m still avoiding full body shots if at all possible. I need some photos for my Scentsy business – and want some fun / playful not so boring head shots, but I want to feel comfy. I just was texting Adam that I feel / look gross, I don’t feel comfy in my own skin. He just always says “the only one that can change it is you” he’s always so sweet, supportive and but kind about it, and not at all a jerk – but let’s get real, Adam has never been rude or jerky to me. And I appreciate that he likes me as I am.

Sure I have a smile on my face in these pictures; but I want to REALLY smile; and feel it. I have a beautiful Erin Condren Planner; I can make sure I keep track of some things, eat a little better. I know I’m the type if I go all in right away it’ll last for a few days then I’m done. I need to baby step into it.  I need to make sure I’m drinking water at home – it’s a start, less pop. I live in a much better area/neighborhood and lots of people walk / jog / run, so I can go for walks. Just get moving. I really want to get a bike, but it’s not in the budget now, although right now is when they are on sale. I might still look for a deal, but we shall see.

I saw something that says it takes 4 weeks for you to see results; 8 weeks for friends and family to notice and 12 for the world to notice – keep going. I like it. I’m looking to Pinterest for a lot of VERY beginner easy workouts at home.


I want this. I’m going to do it. It’s going to be hard, it’s not going to be quick; it’s going to take time,  but right here, right now I’m deciding that I’m going to take baby steps into this process. I hope that by November 23, 2017 (my 35th birthday) that I can hit the scale at 199; it would be awesome to kick these last 43-45 pounds.

57 weeks approximately I’m shooting for 1 pound a week. That gives me some wiggle room. If I hit the goal before, awesome.


Chunky Chick Confessions

Work hard to go farther – Zach DuBois

Work has been trying, emotionally exhausting, and overall draining. This last week all but kicked my ass. I don’t think I’ve ever been on the verge of tears at my desk as much as I was this last week. And I kinda feel like it’s only the beginning. We are at 54 days until “Day 1” moving into the new Children’s Hospital. We had a large nation-wide hospital survey come a few months ago, we had some citation, and had 30 days to fix them. Tomorrow is the earliest they can come back, so we are expecting them then. Then 30-45 days after we open the new Children’s Hospital they come back.

Tension is high, the new gal isn’t quite up to speed (or even at 1/4 speed) at purchasing, in fact she does like 1/10th of it; and it’s basically doubled. I’ve spent a few nights traveling 50 miles round trip to do some shopping, and will likely have to do it again.

On top of all this, I’ve had issues with my internet since Wednesday night; after 15 hours on the phone over 3 nights, a tech being here for an hour Thursday night from 8-9, and then a few hours on Saturday; the purchase of a new router (which I can return) all it took was taking off the router for some time, and plugging it back in.

I have never been more excited to see the neurologist in 10 days because all of this has the making of a seizure. And frankly I’m terrified.

Here’s to the next few weeks being calm. I have no plans for some time off until maybe March if Shawn comes home, but maybe Adam and I need to take a long weekend…

Pinterest has a lot of quotes about working hard, and being tough; or only being given what you can handle and someone must think I’m a badass…

I’m totally jealous of my brother and his family being at the condo in Seista Key, but he’s been a sweetheart and is not only texting me  but sending me pics too. we might not talk often, but he always has the right thing to say or texts when I need it most. But you know, that’s what siblings do, and it sure made my heart happy.  This comment on the post below is what I needed. I really am lucky to have such an amazing guy to call my brother.


I’m going to leave you with my mantra from the last few weeks; from a great artist and someone I’m proud to call a friend Zach DuBois’ song Work Harder “If you want it and your willing and your able, work harder to go farther” true words.

Work Hard Music Video 

Zach DuBois – Facebook

Give his Facebook page a like, check out his music, he’s the real deal my friends. The real deal.


Work hard to go farther – Zach DuBois

Saturday Shenanigans

This last few weeks at work have been very trying. We had a national survey / review come in (late) they were to be here in July, didn’t show until September. Then we had some infractions, so from when they left til they com back to check the fixes, we’re scrambling. I don’t think I did 10% of my normal work routine the last few weeks to fix said infractions, and sit in meetings about them.

Last weekend I didn’t do too much, but got a few things done. This weekend I planned on getting an oil change, a quick trip to Kalona, and hanging with Adam.

As I was getting in my car this morning the light popped up on that I needed air in a tire, but I was headed to get the oil changed, why not let them handle that. The Jiffy Lube I was going to has since closed; it was on the way to Kalona, so I figured it’d be easier. The Jiffy Lube I normally go to had no cars waiting I go in, and pull out my wallet, but no wallet. It’s at home in the different bag I took to work. I tell them quickly to stop that I left my wallet at home I’ll be back. At this point I was mad and just said screw it. I’ll get it done after work some night.

I came home and cleaned up the kitchen, started a load of laundry, vacuumed, cleaned up the office a bit (well except the desk) and my bedroom, got trash ready to take out, now I’m just lounging on the couch watching Orange Is The New Black. I don’t know why I never started this before but last Sunday I decided to. I’m on the last episode of the second season.  I have gotten a bit too much into it, that I haven’t watched any Ellen or anything. I did watch Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday.

My windows are open, I’m loving this weather. I’d be okay if it was even 5-10 degrees cooler. I love hoodie weather. I love not having to run my air conditioning because I like it cold when I sleep – preferred temperature is 67! In the winter I keep the heat set at about 65.

There are a lot of awesome new Scentsy things:


Olympia the Scentsy Buddy – comes with a Scent Pak – order here.

Everyone seems to be liking the Special Delivery truck; the Christmas Tree in the back comes off so it can be used year round

r1homespecialdeliveryisofw16.png – order here


My favorite current scents:

  • World Traveler
  • Spiced Pear
  • Cashmere Pear
  • Apple Crush
  • Apple Butter Frosting (this was only available in a brick last year)

I use Scentsy Counter Clean daily to clean my counters, and a lot of places. Today I dusted with it. I use all of the Laundry line every time I do laundry.

I welcomed a new team member last weekend.  This Scentsy thing, I love it!


Saturday Shenanigans