Not ready for Bo to go.

In the last week and a half; three friends have had to put their dog to sleep. Tomorrow, I have to do the same for Turbo.

I was handling it so well, until this morning, at Panera when I was texting Mom about my car and how expensive it was [because I can’t afford it…] I was crying in Panera. And I haven’t even gotten tires, yet. Or groceries. I have 1/8th of a tank of gas.

I hate this part of being a pet owner. I know he’s sick, really sick, and I know it’s time, he didn’t spaz out when I came in last week. I’m just not ready.

This is the dog who scratched at my door and woke me up when I was seizing in my bed. Never left my side – other than to go out to go potty – when I got home after the accident for nearly two days.

I was really sad about this when we had to for my dog, Copper, but this is a whole different thing. This dog, he saved me. He truly saved me. I don’t know how else to explain it. Other than my two seizures in college, he was with me for the rest.

I’m just not ready.

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Not ready for Bo to go.

Thursday

I have my days all sorts of screwed up. I stayed up way too late last night; I couldn’t tell you when I last watched TV. If you know me, I DVR’d the CMT Music Awards, I worked through them in my office.

I am determined to be planned and organized for this Scentsy event. Each time I get a little bit better.  I was to meet Joe at the repair shop at 8:30 today, he has a work truck, so I was going to take his truck and get my errands ran, and then head to Panera for a cinnamon crunch bagel; but also to work.

I don’t know if I’ve ever done that, and honestly I’m more comfortable at home, and I could have, but sometimes getting out of my comfort zone isn’t always bad.

Just as I was about to order at Panera, Joe called. All my brakes are shot, and my emergency brake is broke [the line or something, basically it wouldn’t have worked if I needed it] so I decided to just go ahead and get it fixed. I need this car to last me another year.

I’ll have to get tires next month because currently… I cannot afford them right now.  Let’s just hope like hell this event on Sunday is lucrative.

I’m rambling already and I need to get some shit done.

Adulting is hard. I was texting my Mom about the car repair; so basically, tearing up, wiping away tears at Panera, because having to drop 1/3 of my monthly paycheck on repairs, one day, then know that the next day I have to put my dog to sleep, ugh. I guess if it weren’t for bad luck… I’d have none.

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Thursday